ElaKiri Jokes Compitition

[Lich]

Guys and Girls..

post ur best joke in here..

the ppl who viewing this thread will decide which one is good... k

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/3569/wrongname1te.gif (http://imageshack.us)

[nEoN_wHitE]

http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/5959/deyyo1ki.gif

[Novindu]

credit card !!!!!

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her
father escorted her down the aisle to give away to groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her
father and placed some thing in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by
bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him
to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my
life." Then he raises his hands with what his daughter gave him and
continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including priest started laughing but not the poor
groom.

[crazy_m]

How Was I Born?

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?"

"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought you to us." "Oh," said the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"

"Oh, the stork brought us too." "Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy persisted.

"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by now starting to squirm a little.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:

"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

:D :D :D

[deffa]

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/5/28/39410/Elakiri/image11.gif

didnt c this thread earlie

[crazy_m]

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward ! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music. "Don't you get it?" the caretaker says incredulously. "He's decomposing!"

[crazy_m]

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.
The next day, Auntie Susie dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.

The next day, granddaddy dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.

The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure he is going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn't eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk.

Upon walking in his front door, he finds his wife. "Good God Dear" he proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my entire life!

She responds, "You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."

[BUA]

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/blade.jpg

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/car.jpg

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/lighter.jpg

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/train.jpg

[BUA]

where the other jokes???.

[shadee]

Absent minded ………….?
An absent-minded professor got himself married to an Absent-minded librarian girl. One evening they were spending a quiet time at home when somebody knocked very loudly at their door.
“Oh heavens!” shrieked the wife,
“it must be my husband!”
And the absent-minded professor jumped through the window.

[krizta]

When there is no Joke dats also a joke :D :P

[ndnk]

ela ela maru

[SU_LEE]

Guys and Girls..

post ur best joke in here..

the ppl who viewing this thread will decide which one is good... k

http://img132.imageshack.us/img132/3569/wrongname1te.gif (http://imageshack.us) whats here in this picture??srilankan language?

[harshafx]

whats here in this picture??srilankan language?
yh...u can't read them :baffled:

[haarshlife]

yh...u can't read them :baffled:
i guez shez chineese :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Tharindu Chat]

whats here in this picture??srilankan language?Thoise r da SInhala Letters

[nasri123]

Mata Jokes ahanna ekama.. Loku Joke 1k ;)

[harshafx]

i guez shez chineese :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
yh me 2...nice to have members lyk dat ne :D

[mldarshana]

Title:Good manners
A teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'Michael
said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher responded by
saying: 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how
would you say it?' Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go
to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' 'That's better, but it's still
not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you,
little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good
manners?'Johnny said 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for
a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I
hope to introduce you to after dinner.'
The teacher fainted...

Original Thread (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109560)

[Hit-man]

A teacher playing a game with first-grade class..The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked what animal is this?" "a cat!"said suzy."g00d job!"n0w wats this animal?"a dog" said ricky.."good! N0w what animal is this?She asked holding up a picture of a deer.The class fell silent..After a couple minutes,the teacher said"its what ur mom calls your dad."A HORNY BASTARD!"called out eddie..

[kalanaweerlk]

A teacher playing a game with first-grade class..The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked what animal is this?" "a cat!"said suzy."g00d job!"n0w wats this animal?"a dog" said ricky.."good! N0w what animal is this?She asked holding up a picture of a deer.The class fell silent..After a couple minutes,the teacher said"its what ur mom calls your dad."A HORNY BASTARD!"called out eddie..

:lol: :lol: machan u r posting some real unpopular stuff to elakiri,, keep it up :lol: :lol:

[Hit-man]

Ela

[Hit-man]

A Company is like a tree full of monkeys.All on different limbs,at different levels.Some climbing up,some climbing down.The monkeys on the top look down an see a tree full of smiling faces.The monkeys on the bottom look up and see n0thing but assholes.

[kalanaweerlk]

A Company is like a tree full of monkeys.All on different limbs,at different levels.Some climbing up,some climbing down.The monkeys on the top look down an see a tree full of smiling faces.The monkeys on the bottom look up and see n0thing but assholes.

:lol: machan these r f---- awesome :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[dumidishan]

:D :lol: :lol: :lol: Kids Are Quick
____________________________________


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O __________________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________


TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie.....always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right...'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
___________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie,do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
______________________________


TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

[kalanaweerlk]

dumidishan tx bro.. http://www.elakiri.com/forum/images/smilies/sq/laugh8kb.gifhttp://www.elakiri.com/forum/images/smilies/sq/laugh8kb.gifhttp://www.elakiri.com/forum/images/smilies/sq/laugh8kb.gifhttp://www.elakiri.com/forum/images/smilies/sq/laugh8kb.gif

[dumidishan]

dumidishan tx bro.. :lol::lol::lol::lol:

Your welcome kalanaweerlk..:D :D

[dumidishan]

A teacher playing a game with first-grade class..The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked what animal is this?" "a cat!"said suzy."g00d job!"n0w wats this animal?"a dog" said ricky.."good! N0w what animal is this?She asked holding up a picture of a deer.The class fell silent..After a couple minutes,the teacher said"its what ur mom calls your dad."A HORNY BASTARD!"called out eddie..

:lol: :lol: :lol: Nice one Hit-man

[nimaz]

WHAT DID THE FARMER SAY TO THE OTHER FARMER?
WE ARE BOTH FARMERS!

[Hashan dis]

http://www.funlk.com/contextphotos/f172b975ae0b1cef2bc130156614ec03-image.jpg

[Hit-man]

Director commands during shooting a porn film:LIGHTS CAMERA MUSIC ERECTION(ACTION)

[thilzz]

nice jokes !
:lol:

[gayan kalhara]

http://www.funlk.com/contextphotos/f172b975ae0b1cef2bc130156614ec03-image.jpg


ela ela Bossata M*la paninna athi neda????:confused::confused:

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::D:D:D:D:D:rofl::rof l::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[gayan kalhara]

Facts About Old Men and Women

Q: Where can guys over 65 find youthful, pretty women who are interested in dating them?

A: Look in the library-------under Romantic Fiction.

Q: How can a guy cope during his wife's menopause?

A: By staying busy. If you're mechanically inclined, you can remodel the garage. When you are finished you will have a flat in which to live.

Q: How can a woman raise the heart rate of her 65+ year old spouse?

A: She should tell him she's with child.

Q: What can an older woman do for the wrinkles on her neck?

A: Don't wear a brassiere. The additional hanging "weights" will take out the wrinkles.

Q: How can older people remember where they parked their cars?

A: Use the Valet service. They have to remember where your car is.

Q: Do older people have problems storing their short term memories?

A: No, they have problems retrieving the memories from storage.

Q: Do older people have deeper sleep?

A: They do, but normally their deep sleep happens in the afternoon

Q: Where can older people find prescription eye glasses?

A: On top of their heads.

Q: What is the most often used sentence uttered by older people when they visit antique shops?

A: 'Gee, I have one of these.'

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: :eek:

[gayan kalhara]

Dear Mrs. Denner,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Denner are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House-wares to go off at 5-minute intervals

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in House-wares. Get on it right away."

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fatal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Once again we cannot tolerate this behaviour in our store.

[gayan kalhara]

A wealthy Chicago businessman goes to Vegas and loses all but three dollars. He comes out of the casino and waves a taxi over. How much is a ride to the airport?" The driver replies that it is $5. "Come on I only have $3, but I'll pay you $10 when I get home by mailing you a check."" said the man. "No way" replies the Driver and throws him out of the car.Revenge on a Taxi Driver

Two years later the man comes back and goes to the same casino. This time he wins money. As he exits the casino, he sees a long line of Taxi drivers.. and at the end is his enemy from two years ago.

Seeing this, the man decides to get his revenge. He goes up to the first Taxi and says: "hey will you give me a blo*job?" the taxi driver says: "no you freak, get out of my car!"

The man then goes on to the next car and says: "hey will you give me a blo*job?" the taxi driver says: "no you maniac, get out of my car!" The man continues to do this all down the line until he reaches the last taxi, and sees his enemy.

The man asks: "how much for a ride to the airport?" Not recognizing him the driver replies: "$5" "Okay." says the man and he gets in. Then as he passes the line of other taxis, he sticks his hands out the window and gives them all a big thumbs up.

[gayan kalhara]

It was late and Charlie was about to climb into bed when his wife informed him that there was a light on in their garden shed. Charlie started to go outside to turn off the light but noticed some people in the shed who were busy stealing his things.

He ran back inside right away and called the cops, who asked him "Are there any intruders in your house?" to which Charlie replied no and explained his circumstances. The cops told Charlie that all patrol cars were otherwise occupied, and that he should just lock his door and a uniformed cop would be at his house when one was free.

Charlie answered, "Alright," hung up, waited 30 seconds, and then called the cops again.

"Hello, I just called a short while ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. I want to let you know that they're not a problem anymore because I've just shot every one of them."

Charlie then hung up the phone. In five short minutes, three patrol cars, a SWAT team, and an ambulance arrived, and Of course, the cops caught the burglars in the act.

One of the cops snapped at Charlie: "I thought you said that you shot every one of them!"

"I thought you said there were no patrol cars free!" Charlie answered.
;);););););););););););););););););););););)

meka mama kalin Post karapu ekak eeth Godak aya dakala na.....

REPOST!!!!!!! :yes::yes::yes::yes::yes::yes::yes::yes:

[hbkrandil7]

Maru....maru..... Thawa danna.....:rofl:

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

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[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/ad2.jpg
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[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/image002.jpg
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[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/Slide4.jpg
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http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/veet.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://www.madpage.freeserve.co.uk/crazytoons7.jpg
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http://www.madpage.freeserve.co.uk/coconutoon%20C7.jpg

http://www.crazylanka.com/mervyntomatosauce.jpg
Mervyn the Alien Has Pink Blood Shock!
In shocking pictures emerging from Sri Rajapakistan, an Alien Being called Mervyn, from The Planet Rajapaksa was seen to shed pink blood. Thish man is is not a Man but an Alien ekkena and should be sent backpacking (Surely "packing back" -Ed) to his own Planet together with his fellow Alien Moustache Rajapaksa!
Mervyn's Followers Have Blond Hair Shock....

http://www.crazylanka.com/mervyntoilet.jpg


http://www.crazylanka.com/cbkarafat.jpghttp://www.crazylanka.com/mahindaarafat.jpg
http://www.crazylanka.com/powellcbkwedding.jpg
http://www.crazylanka.com/charlestree.jpg
http://www.crazylanka.com/charlestree2.jpg
http://www.crazylanka.com/mahindaveddha.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)


http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/4cd7efa1.jpg

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http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/A_special_software_for_president.jpg

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http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/Sherlock_Holmes_1.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/ShowLetter.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/Haiyoo-Ranil.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/mage_hati.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/Alawakayo.jpg
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http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/Avasan_Liyuma2.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/Chandi_Akka.jpg
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http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/dasakiyamana.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)
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http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/LordOfTheRings.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/Ma_ithin_yanawa.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/magepodi.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/mamai_ra.gif
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/mangala.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/Nimhim.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/nobalan.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/obagendo.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/pic275291.gif
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/ranil200.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/Ranil_Praba.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/RATAPERATA.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/rata_perata_film2.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/rupee.gif
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/Sadam_hiding.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/sandhanaya.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/sarasavi.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/SB.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/shalukagirlfromSPM.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/subamang.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/subamanh.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/super_six.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/tilvin.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/unp_leaders.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/untitled-1.jpg

[MaD-DoC]

http://img37.picoodle.com/img/img37/3/8/1/f_Picture1m_f6f5c3d.png
http://img34.picoodle.com/img/img34/3/8/1/f_Picture2m_47defa6.png
http://img28.picoodle.com/img/img28/3/8/1/f_Picture3m_fdd98b7.png
http://img37.picoodle.com/img/img37/3/8/1/f_Picture4m_9402483.png
http://img33.picoodle.com/img/img33/3/8/1/f_Picture5m_c6b9d89.png

[SU_LEE]

yh...u can't read them :baffled: yah

[gn.karunarathna]

The SLP (Sri Lankan Police), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President
decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and
each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest.

They

question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of

extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest,

killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no

apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The SLP goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten

bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!'

bye bye

[gn.karunarathna]

Orginal Thread Click Here (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=67064&)
;);)

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/super_six.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/tilvin.jpg
http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee208/jayasanka/joke/unp_leaders.jpg

sira

[yasasrd]

Mata nam joke daanna baa

[darshanarc]

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/blade.jpg

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/car.jpg

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/lighter.jpg

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/train.jpg

:rolleyes: :rofl: maru joke tika "File Not found" :lol:

[Hit-man]

A w0men is in the hospital giving birth an she is up on the stirrups.All 0f a sudden,the babys head pops out an look up at the nurse. "are u my daddy?" asks the baby head.Shocked,the nurse replies concerned "uh im n0t ur dad,i'll run an go get to him!"with this,the babys head turned to the doctor an asks "are you my daddy?" "my goodness n0!"But the nurse is g0ing to get him,he will be here any minute."finally the father c0mes in to the room and the baby see him an says"are you my daddy?"t0 which the shocked father gose up clouse to the babys head an says "yes s0n, im ur father"the baby pull his hand out and pokes the father in the head and says "WELL THEN....ST0P P0KING ME IN THE HEAD"!

[Hit-man]

A m0bile is like a women-talks non-stop, c0st a fortune,disturbs when ur busy an when u need it urgently,there is n0 service!

[Hit-man]

Sex is when a guy's communication enters a girls information to increase the population for a younger generation. do u get the information?Or do u need a dem0nstration?

[sirajstc]

haha

[snoop_ug]

ANIT WEB SITE VALA EVA COPY NOKARA TAMANGEMA EKAK HADALA DANAVANANN TAMAI HODA

[Hit-man]

Que:Wats the difference between ooh an aah?Ans:about three inches

[ndnk]

Title:Good manners
A teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'Michael
said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher responded by
saying: 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how
would you say it?' Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go
to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' 'That's better, but it's still
not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you,
little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good
manners?'Johnny said 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for
a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I
hope to introduce you to after dinner.'
The teacher fainted...

Original Thread (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=109560)

hiki hiki

[Pentagram]

When there is no Joke dats also a joke :D :P
:eek:meka danna ewa!

[Pentagram]

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/blade.jpg

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/car.jpg

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/lighter.jpg

http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/6/5/52616/train.jpgmage aasama JOKE eka!:P

[gayan kalhara]

The SLP (Sri Lankan Police), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President
decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and
each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest.

They

question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of

extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest,

killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no

apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The SLP goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten

bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!'

bye bye


I Posted this before... But Thnx a lot for Reposting. ;);););););););););)

[thilangr8]

There once was five year old boy who enjoyed playing with his
train set. One afternoon, his mother happened to be standing by the
door listening to the boy play. She was shocked when she heard him
saying,

"All right, all of you son of a bitches who want to get on the train, get
on train. And all of you son of a bitches who want to get off the
train, get off the train. And all of you son of a bitches who want to
change seats, change seats now 'cause the trains getting ready to
leave. Whoo whooooo."

The mother was just devastated, so she scolded her son and said to him,

"Now son, I want to go upstairs and take your nap, and when you get up,
you can't play with your train set for two hours."

So the boy took his nap and didn't even mention his train set for
two hours. After the two hours were up, the boy asked his mom if he
could play with his train set again. She said yes, and asked him if he
understood why he was punished. He nodded his head yes, and off he
went. The mother stood by door to listen to what her son would say.
The boy sat down to his train set and calmly said,

"Whoo whoooooo. All of you ladies and gentlemen who want to get on the
train, get on the train. All of you ladies and gentlemen who want to
get off the train, get off the train. And all you sons of a bitches who
are pissed 'cause the train is two hours late, go talk to the bitch in
the kitchen.

[thilangr8]

Actual dialog of a former Customer Support employee:

Support: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Support: "What sort of trouble?"

Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.",

Support: "Went away?"

Customer:"They disappeared."

Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Customer: "Nothing."

Support: "Nothing?"

Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

Customer: "How do I tell?"

Support: "Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?"

Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

Customer: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Support: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Customer: "What's a monitor?"

Support: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer: "I don't know."

Support: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Customer: ......"Yes, I think so."

Support: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Customer: ......"Yes, it is."

Support: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Customer: "No."

Support: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Customer: ......"Okay, here it is."

Support: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Customer: "I can't reach."

Support: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Customer: "No."

Support: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Customer:"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

Support: "Dark?

Customer: "Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Support: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer:"I can't."

Support: "No? Why not?"

Customer: "Because there's a power outage."

Support: "A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

Customer: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Support: "Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Customer: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Support: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Support: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

[adbroke]

Short and sweet one :

Girl to boy :

R U married ?

Boy reply :

Are you kidding ? don't find i'm alive...

:lol:

[srihotpics]

fun thamai

[Ranhiru]

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on
someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello."

I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone
could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down
Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentally transposed the
last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to
call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and
hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my
desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd
call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar
with the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some
guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
waited for.. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that
spot. The idiot ignored me I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window . .
so, I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole ( I had his
number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's
parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole."

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had
a problem, I had two assholes to call.

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used
to be

So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

"Hello."

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen.."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black
Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying
your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called Asshole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!"

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay
lover.

Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th
Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

When I got there, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and the channel 13 news crew.

NOW, I feel better - This is "Anger Management" at its very best.

[Ranhiru]

TWELVE PRIESTS AND THE NAKED DANCER

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to
line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy and
beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.

Each priest had a small bell attached to his penis and they were told that
anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be
ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.

The beautiful model danced before the first candidate, with no reaction.
She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests
until she got to the final priest (Carlos). As she danced, his bell began
to ring so loudly that it flew off and fell clattering to the ground.

Embarrassed, Carlos took a few steps forward, and bent over to pick it up.
Then, all the other bells started to ring............

[Ranhiru]

About That Appointment

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm.

The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

The Husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

[tsrockz]

When there is no Joke dats also a joke :D :P



:P:P:P

[senira]

:D :lol: :lol: :lol: KidsAreQuick
____________________________________


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O __________________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________


TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie.....always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right...'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
___________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie,do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mum is a good cook.
______________________________


TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher
wadak na na this stuff is too common

[dinithi017]

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

[nimaz]

what did the farmer say to the other farmer?
We are both farmers!! :lol:

[Heshanck93]

A wealthy Chicago businessman goes to Vegas and loses all but three dollars. He comes out of the casino and waves a taxi over. How much is a ride to the airport?" The driver replies that it is $5. "Come on I only have $3, but I'll pay you $10 when I get home by mailing you a check."" said the man. "No way" replies the Driver and throws him out of the car.Revenge on a Taxi Driver

Two years later the man comes back and goes to the same casino. This time he wins money. As he exits the casino, he sees a long line of Taxi drivers.. and at the end is his enemy from two years ago.

Seeing this, the man decides to get his revenge. He goes up to the first Taxi and says: "hey will you give me a blo*job?" the taxi driver says: "no you freak, get out of my car!"

The man then goes on to the next car and says: "hey will you give me a blo*job?" the taxi driver says: "no you maniac, get out of my car!" The man continues to do this all down the line until he reaches the last taxi, and sees his enemy.

The man asks: "how much for a ride to the airport?" Not recognizing him the driver replies: "$5" "Okay." says the man and he gets in. Then as he passes the line of other taxis, he sticks his hands out the window and gives them all a big thumbs up.

:lol:

[numdigil]

what did the farmer say to the other farmer?
We are both farmers!! :lol:
Out of the many posts, this one attract my attention. I believe it is possible for anyone to participate.
Excellent ! I like it very much. :)

[Pura Pagal]

New Budget... New Taxes... (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=88545)

NOT a DIRTY joke... (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=86855)

Planning to have kids... (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=86381)

Does Management know their Staff? (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=86435)

It is SAD for girls... (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=86379)

Sales People... (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=86372)

Matrimonial – Females ONLY!!! (http://www.elakiri.com/forum/showthread.php?t=84860)

[isuru@r]

ela..ela