shalinda
04-20-2007, 07:02 AM
List Of Rules for the wives and /or girlfriends during the World Cup
>
> 1. From 13 March to 28 April 2007, you should read the sports section
of
> the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the
> World
> Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If
you
> fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you
will be
> totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
>
> 2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times,
without
> any
> exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you
will
> lose it (your eye).
>
> 3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't
mind,
> as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting
me. If
> you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put
clothes on
> right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take
you to
> the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
>
> 4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require
a
> refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if
you
> expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or
pick
> up
> the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.
>
> 5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in
the
> fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and
please
> do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to
watch
the
> games. In return for your good behaviour, you will be allowed to use
the
> TV
> when matches are not showing, unless they replay a good game that I
missed
> during the day.
>
> 6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my
teams
is
> losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry,
> they'll
> win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me
angrier
and
> I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about
> Cricket
> than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to
a
> break up or divorce.
>
> 7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk
to
me
> during break but only when the commercials are on, and only if the
score
> is
> pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence
do
not
> use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
>
> 8. The replays of the shorts are very important. I don't care if I
have
> seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many
times.
>
> 9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child
related
> parties or gatherings that require my attendance because:
> a) I will not go,
> B) I will not go, and
> C) I will not go.
>
> 10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to
watch
> a
> game, we will be there in a flash.
>
> 11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
> important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying
"but
you
> have already seen this... why don't you change the channel to
something
we
> can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
>
> 12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the
World
> Cup is only every 3 years". I am immune to these words, because after
this
> comes the, ICC 20-20 World Cup, etc etc.
>
> Thank you for your cooperation.
>
> Regards,
> MEN OF THE WORLD:yes: :cool:
>
> 1. From 13 March to 28 April 2007, you should read the sports section
of
> the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the
> World
> Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If
you
> fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you
will be
> totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
>
> 2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times,
without
> any
> exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you
will
> lose it (your eye).
>
> 3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't
mind,
> as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting
me. If
> you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put
clothes on
> right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take
you to
> the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
>
> 4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require
a
> refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if
you
> expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or
pick
> up
> the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.
>
> 5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in
the
> fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and
please
> do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to
watch
the
> games. In return for your good behaviour, you will be allowed to use
the
> TV
> when matches are not showing, unless they replay a good game that I
missed
> during the day.
>
> 6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my
teams
is
> losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry,
> they'll
> win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me
angrier
and
> I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about
> Cricket
> than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to
a
> break up or divorce.
>
> 7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk
to
me
> during break but only when the commercials are on, and only if the
score
> is
> pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence
do
not
> use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
>
> 8. The replays of the shorts are very important. I don't care if I
have
> seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many
times.
>
> 9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child
related
> parties or gatherings that require my attendance because:
> a) I will not go,
> B) I will not go, and
> C) I will not go.
>
> 10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to
watch
> a
> game, we will be there in a flash.
>
> 11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as
> important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying
"but
you
> have already seen this... why don't you change the channel to
something
we
> can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
>
> 12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the
World
> Cup is only every 3 years". I am immune to these words, because after
this
> comes the, ICC 20-20 World Cup, etc etc.
>
> Thank you for your cooperation.
>
> Regards,
> MEN OF THE WORLD:yes: :cool: