Funny /Men [Archive] - ElaKiri Community

hacker

08-29-2006, 04:29 PM

TO ALL THE BRIGHT AND WONDERFUL WOMEN OF THE WORLD

15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MUM, YOUR

DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC, ETC

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, that you can tell them apart

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

Send this to 5 Bright Women to make their day!

Pass it to a few "good men" too!!

hacker

08-29-2006, 04:33 PM

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE cALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID SO
MUCH......FOR JUST
BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:

1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the
Open Desktop."

Customer "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a
pop-up menu?"

Customer "No."

Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you
have done up until
this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I
wrote 'click'."

--------------------------------------------------
2) Customer: "I received the software update you
sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."

Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to
get it to work?"

--------------------------------------------------

3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing
Microsoft Word."

Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me
what it says."

Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and
Recovery disk'."

Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer:: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."

--------------------------------------------------

4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your
software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$

--------------------------------------------------

5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side
of the screen,
canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from
there?"

--------------------------------------------------

6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you
have?"

Customer:: "A white one."

--------------------------------------------------

7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

--------------------------------------------------

8). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right
now?"

Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got
me at the grocery store."

--------------------------------------------------

9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you
running?"

Customer: "Pentium."

--------------------------------------------------

10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I
performed an illegal abortion."

--------------------------------------------------

11).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

--------------------------------------------------

12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

--------------------------------------------------

13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I
urgently need to
print document, but the computer won't boot
properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system
disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a
floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's
an Intel inside."

--------------------------------------------------

14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a
problem. We're open
24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

--------------------------------------------------

15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support:: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

--------------------------------------------------

16). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech
support to report that
his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power
supply.

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the
startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need
to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to
change the startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the
command.

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he
is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our
customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the
problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end
of the CONFIG.SYS.

Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still
smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of
DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch
that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about
what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power
supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't
compatible with NOSMOKE.

-------------------------------------------------
17) customer care officer:I need a product
identification no: right
now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My
Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find
your computer?